Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Deja` Vu

I am quite familiar with what the sense of deja vu is... there have been many times where I have thought I have been through this before.....

however, there is a very weird sense of deja vu Rishi is going through... a feeling which takes u through an emotional roller coaster....a feeling which leaves u warm and fuzzy inside.... here is what Rishi went through....

This has been the story of Rishi's life and I am going to focus mainly on his love life.... for the sake of convenience I would wanna call them Gangu bai and radha..... Gangu bai and Rishi were friends through a common friend....while radha and Rishi met through the surreal world of the internet....they met, they spoke, they started dating and soon they realized that things weren't working out and so in about 5 months they parted ways.... Rishi was enjoyin single hood...things were fine and then one fine day Rishi starts to get this feeling that he had a crush on Gangu bai and he realized that it was maybe this crush he had which didn't let him see things clearly with radha ( I know its a little confusing but then I swear, I swear to the lord he can never two time or cheat on a person!)... so now that the realization dawned upon him... Gangu bai and rishi became very good friends and rightly so.... She had the sweetest voice, the softest heart n the most beautiful soul rishi had seen till that point in time...( when u like someone u see the whole world all pink n red lol)...

time passed, Gangu bai and rishi got closer n closer n Rishi kinda took it for keeps that Gangu bai and he were a couple.... not just him but all his friends thought so too...and so after about 1 year and few months of relentless sweetness n cute talks, Rishi conjured up the courage to ask gangubai out....and to the shock of his life, he get to know that she never really looked at him that way! ( so much for all the cute talks lol) and then he gets to know about his casanova image and his lack of responsibility sort of an image which actually led to his denial lol... those qualities are quite opposite to what they were made off.... He was shattered (isn't every guy for sometime lol) and he decided he would never talk to gangubai again....

here he was single again....however, there is a twist to the tale.... he met radha again.....and then he thought may be it was not fair that he did not give his relationship with radha a fair and honest attempt...and so he told radha about the facts and she thinks that they should go out again and they did...but then 4 months in to phase 2 of relationship 1, he realize that it was not actually his failure to give it a honest try but the relationship did not have wat it needed to succeed...and radha and rishi split again....

Rishi in the year after he split with radha again, did a lot of introspection and soul searching and realized he was not that bad afterall... he was a nice guy who did give his first relationship an honest try and things genuinely didn't work out...radha kinda played her part in telling rishi that he was right in thinking that way.... all this happened over a period of 5 years and rishi also had a friend call rinky who he thought would make a good partner but then he soon realizes that its not rinky....it just cannot be....they are just good friends n nothing more.

Meanwhile in the course of the 5 years…Rishi went through a lot of turmoil…he lost his grand parents ...he lost his pa…the one friend he never wanted to lose was his PA….and he lost him….Rishi did a lot of introspection in this phase and as they say it is difficult times which makes a man out of a boy! Rishi became a Man from a boy…. He changed to radically n for the good that nobody could not not notice the maturity, the calmness he had suddenly got… he became closer to his folks, to his friends who had been with him through thick n thin! He had indeed become a good man… n his work was treating well…he was one of the best there…and today he is got all he wants but this one person who he could call his companion, his partner … a person he would make laugh all his life and he would take pleasure in seeing her smile…rishi is a simple man with this small simple dream…he just wants to be the reason for the smile on her face and forever…..

recently rishi got in touch with this friend of his called nicki….he had known her as this bubbly little girl who was full of energy and enthusiasm… a quality which rishi always liked….something which he always admired in any person… he spoke to nicki and gradually after hours n hours of phone calls n chats he thought that he could do anything to see nicki smile…. The only worry rishi now has is that he does not want to lose nicki as a friend and the biggest concern he has is he does not want to freak nicki out! Coz nicki is this nice girl he thinks could be the one….so now here is rishi standing at this junction….where he is experiencing a weird sense of déjà vu…. A feeling that he has been through before… a warm fuzzy feeling he thinks he felt just once before when he was in love with gangubai….a feeling he never felt since then!

Rishi is in a state of to be or not to be…. He does not want to call it love yet…but he has no answers to the warm n fuzzy feeling inside… Rishi came to me and I told him…” dude u just gotta be patient n take yer time…” I am just gonna pray for rishi that his sense of déjà vu does not end In the same way….where he ends up distraught n shattered again…n that he eventually becomes the reason for someones smile forever ;)….cheers to rishi and good luck to him ;)


Sunday, October 4, 2009

Angel...we all need one...we all want one....

The stars were sparkling, under the moon lit sky

I looked at them trying to decode their magical language

They kept smiling at me trying to tease me and I kept looking in vain

This happened every night and soon it became a pain,

A pain I didn’t feel, a pain I didn’t understand

I wish someone would explain to me what they said

Holding my hands

I kept looking for those hands now that would take me along

To the magical world of stars and the moon

The voice that would tell me about the different reasons

As to why each star shone differently and sparkled like they did

The story about why the moon would wax and wane,

I kept looking for the one who would alleviate my pain

Then down the aisles of the rainbow, she came walking

Her eyes putting the sparkles of the stars to shame,

Her smile illuminating a million moons

Her voice my guiding light, I had never seen a soul shine so bright

She was like an angel sent from above

An angel I prayed for, who would give me peace

A sense of purity and divinity in my heart,

I kept looking at her, thinking if I was indeed alive

I wished she would be mine, I prayed to god

And promised I would never let the sparkle of her eyes fade,

Never let her smile go, that I would cherish her in my mortal eyes

And treasure her in this heart

With the sound of thunder my dream fell apart,

But I still think about the angel

Every moment I breathe, every second my heart beats

I know she is somewhere around

Looking at me and waiting for the day

She would walk into my life

And transform it to the magical world I dreamt of.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

about stars, astrologers, life, depression and a lot more....

Now for all you readers n followers...precisely 4 of you who have been kind enough to follow my blogs, Thank you for being patient... I so wish to write more but then Half my day is spent sleeping and the other half at work. So I am not to be blamed is what I think but then they say that agar dhoond ke dekho to Khuda bhi mil jaata hain toh waqt kya cheez hain lol....

Last post was on Jun 22 I believe ( I just checked it but still can't remember, talk about STML) lol..STML?? STML is the most famous thing that took the world by storm post Ghajini...Sot Term Memory Laas lol... Yeah so last post was on Jun 22 and since then I have taken (counting my fingers) 3 months to write the next. Thats apathetic but then theres been a lot of things that have been happening.

I had my first appraisal in that time frame, got a hike of a meager 8 %... 8% .?? 8 is my favorite no but only on a football jersey, also 8 is my favorite no becoz I would like to have a 8 figure salary some day but 8% hike huh.. I remember how inconsistency came back to haunt me and how even our boss was feeling ashamed quoting such disgusting figures and how he was trying to hide behind the curtains of RECESSION lol...

Kaaku quit Zycus in that time frame...Kaaku...alias...Akshay modi...a dear friend, a great human being...one heck of a guy and a true sweetheart ( now I am not gay)....even BOY quit zycus.. Boy...alias Stanley another great human being...a truly cherished friend and a hustler...he is like part of my hood lol.... and these two folks are irreplacable in the hearts of people who called em friends...Really great guys and yea we made good company ..... now its not that I am not in touch with them but just thought this is worth putting down considering that this blog is gonna be a really long one.... 3 months! wow...long time you see....

yeah so post stan and kaaku...things kinda continued...the show must go on.... meanwhile our incentives were blocked due to not having a Incentive contract in place ...brb on a call....ok I am back and I just got an interview call from some random company and i rejected, Rejection is a funny thing...u never wanna get rejected but u enjoy being in a position where u can reject lol... ok cut to the blog.. Yeah our incentives were bloody blocked due to no incentive contract in place and when we eventually got it I had enough money to book my first bike lol...a hero honda Hunk.....thats one heck of a ride ...power...peformance and style all in one...its the all muscle hunk...

Meanwhile...Eid and Navratri came in and during the ramzan period my car crashed twice and I spent quite a few of my sweat n blood ( my salary) to get my car done twice....its really annoying when you have to pay for someone else's mistake you see and I was no less annoyed when my car crashed twice...Also as navratri ( Dandiya and Garba festival) came in and it was dad's second death anniversary per the hindu calendar...so I made a trip to pune to do all the rituals n rites ....was a good trip...sitting in a packed car with random people and then coming back by the ST buses...sure did take a toll on me.....holy crap how could I forget the most important thing that happened during this....PRAKASH MANJIBHAI PATEL.....the evergreen loverboy of our gang.... THE GUJJU bhai...THE BUSINESSMAN after a lot of turmoil through his prospecting ( Ladki dekhne waali rasam) for a bride finally found his soulmate. For privacy reasons I am not gonna take the girls name lol... we met our bhabhi to be and realized marriages and matches are truly made in heaven....

yeah so after I got back from pune after dads rituals...I went back to pune the following week and rode my hunk down....was good fun....and now its been 4 days on...the hunk is doing just fine ;) during these 3 months there was a lot of things which happened... i went into an intermediate depression where I was panicking about not meeting new people....damn that was so bad...I was freaking out....then Nikhil and I bonded...and became good pals....I realized nikhil had a habit of messaging after being drunk lol....I got back in touch with KAY...lol Kaalindi Mishra (she is actually misra...Mishra with a lisp) we kinda hit it off....

the most intimidating thing about these 3 months were that I have been told I am going through 7 and a half which literally means saade satti...its supposed to be a 7 and a half year period where Shani ( i guesss saturn) causes a lot of turmoil in your life...and apparently mine is just begun....my mom this astrologer who actually told us about everything we have been going through in the last few quarters without even we telling him anything....He definitely had some Cosmic, Karmic powers which he definitely freaked me out with....Lets be honest....I kinda get freaked out by people who can read your life like an open book and they don't even know you....and it kinda scared me a bit too....I don't get easily intimidated but i know there is something about the astronomical sciences which freaks me out....my grand pa was an astrologer and I know that it can get really eerie for someone who tries to draw the line at being a believer....and does nt wanna go beyond it to a point of becoming a follower....

Its a little eerie as to how people can read others lives just by drawing some geometric figures ( Kundali) on a paper...Stars speak apparently but how? its a strange phenomenon nonetheless an intriguing one... if this holds true then there are so many other things which could be true as well about good n bad souls...about planchet ( calling in of the souls) about life after death...about Supernatural skills n powers... I personally dont wanna think those are true coz I am a follower of science and i think science has all the powers but then isn't astrology and astronomy an applied science? is it like a parallel universe where these astrologers are from and are watching your lives closely?

so many messed up thoughts and i just realized how I chatted away for over an hour on ISD lol with a friend and fried her brains...and then I had an heart attack lol... jokes apart...I think this trimonthly update is now nearing its end... not like the end of a hindi film hero who will walk about 10 kms..run another 20 and swim another 15 crawl for about 5 more before he dies after getting hit by 3 bullets in his chest lol....so I am gonna go off now...to grab another cup of tea...i realize I didn't eat Khaari with my first cup so I need one more....and then I will push off to work....I am gonna make an effort to write more often but till then adios amigos....signing off.....