#Poem Series - Sister and Daughter

Life was so beautiful and calm

It felt like heaven when I touched your palm

I was alone and like a bright star you shone

Made that small chair I sat on feel like a kings throne

We grew up together

And I swore I would be there forever

To hear my words your always keen

When I look at you, I feel like am lookin into a mirror in between

You smiled at everything I did

And I did everything to make you smile

From you, nothing I ever hid

you heard it all and in my head never let it pile

Difficulties saw us bond

We had grown our ages beyond

We stood up for one another

without you I couldn’t have taken care of mother

We fought as kids and hitting you was sinister,

You are the world to me coz you’re my sister

All I ever try is to not let anything bother

This wonderful girl who is not just my sister but also my daughter

#Poem Series - Winner

I write my memories on a piece of paper

Both good and bad,

They stay there in my head

Some making me happy and some sad

Whenever I think of the good memories,

Times I spent with family and

Times I spent with friends in the hood

I wish I could roll back times

To feel that pleasure and undo that pain

Time lost once I know I cannot gain

So I try to love all I can and enjoy every moment

Not thinking of tomorrow

Which eventually I will spend in my tomb that is silent!

I took an oath when I felt this emotion

That I would never complaint and show in god all my devotion

I promise to god and to my parents alike

I shall fight and not bow down to the hurdles which I so dislike

I shall not kill and curse and hate and never be a sinner

Coz all I want and I shall be in life is a winner!

#Poem Series - White Light

A usual night it was until

I felt the world go still

the wind hitting my face

My heartbeats, in a race

I kept riding the wind on my bike

Never before it felt like

It came from up above and felt like lightening strike...

Oooohhhhh the white light....

It got me high and took me above

this mortal earth

I began to fly, I began to soar

Like an eagle in the open skies

with the vanity of this earth

I broke all ties...

I woke up on the everest

Under the moonlight...

Oooohhhhh then I saw the white light....

Mr Time stands there watching it

turn you in to a fearless child of fate

Life's a game, some you miss some you hit

you're addicted more with every passing date

you feel like a flyin kite

and a shining star in the night

When you feel so right you know

you've got the white light...

#Poem Series - Yeh Saali Zindagi

Yeh saali Zindagi

Akela baitha hua mein,Jaagta hoon raato ko

parchaiyon se poochta, do pal to mera saath do

Neend hain na aankho mein,mann mein na chain

Ab toh bas lage hain, jaldi beet jaaye yeh rain

din guzar jaate hain ,Sui ki chalte chalte

Ghante kahaan beet gaye,Suraj dhalte dhalte

naa aankho mein aansu na dard ka ehsaas ho

yeh din dikh jaane ke pehle, zindagi ki raat ho

garmiyon mein suraj ki narm kirno mein ghoomna

sardiyon mein kambal ke resham ko choomna

baarishon ki boondon ka maathe par jhoomna

in lamho ko kaid kar fir usmein doobna

aye pagal insaan tu har pal ko jee

usmein chippey amrit ko dil khol ke pee

jee ley kuch is tarah, jaise is raat ki subah nahi

aaj tere saath hain, kal ho na ho yeh saali zindagi

#Poem Series - You'll Never Know

How the Moon grows on you

How the sky is so blue

And why the rain feels so good

You'll never know...

WHy the heart beats so loud

Why your mothers so proud

and why your friends just smile

You'll never know..

Coz you are fake and phoney

A gold digger that wants money...

And you think you are the only

That knows the worldly things...

Oh oh....You're so blinded......

What it feels like to be loved

And the feeling of being pushed and shoved

And what it feels to be real

You'll never know

As the evening grows

the fireflies start to glow

And the warmth within a lovers heart

You'll never know...

Coz you are fake and phoney

A gold digger that wants money...

And you think you are the only

That knows the worldly things...

Oh oh....You're so blinded......

#Poem Series - Since You've Been Gone

An empty house sits waiting

for its master hasn't been home in a while

its been long, but the moment you left

it all felt wrong and its not felt the same

since you've been gone

The wife cooks a meal,

the one you love most

she looks out for you,

wish you would atleast come as a ghost

Her eyes have been longing for you

her soul love lorn

since you've been gone

The little boy and the young girl

have grown up now

oh they miss you,and HOW

they look for you and feel hard done

since you've been gone

The lonely eyes standing by the door

the ears can't hear you no more

the most crowded place feels like an empy shore

they sit by the wave and think about you

from dusk to dawn

oh its been so long!

Since you've been gone ...

#Poem Series - Sands of Time

As the dried leaves fly by

the winds caressing your hair

the whole reality seems like a lie

you continue to walk unaware

The streets are quiet and dark

the shadows following you around

it leaves on you a deep mark

slowly brings you to the ground

The heart pounds and races

sweat dripping on your brow

the eyes see never seen before faces

thinking here you reached how?

Suddenly you feel things turn

Around you there is growing slime

you see your family mourn and soul burn

as You pass into the sands of time.....

#Poem Series - Reminiscence

As the rain fizzles down

on this beautiful earth

I sit down watchin the muddy brown

and the kids full of dirt

I sit there watchin the kids at play

and think of the good old day

when I used to be a little boy

and jumping in the puddles was my biggest joy

I then walked down the memory lane

taking a step forward towards the present

how i would think being a kid was a bane

and on growing up I was hell bent

As my memory travelled in time

It passed by some corners of my heart

In the pockets there wasn't a single dime

For her I would try to stand apart

The calendar changed many seasons

For each one I met I tried a lot more

Each of them with their reasons

Plainly walked out of the door

Now I feel why I wanted this life

My mind failing to think clear

I am a changed man now, it cuts me like a knife

still there is nobody that cares, When I shed a tear.

#Poem Series - Promise

There was an innocent stare

in those beautiful eyes,

one that i had never seen before.

It beat all the glare of the lights

and was deeper then sea that hit my shore...

She was broke n hurt and taken for a ride

by one she loved and in whom she would confide..

They made promises to each other..

That they would always be together..

But he walked out n broke those promises..

and all she was left to do was cry and miss.....

I held her hand n promised to never leave

and I wished in me she would believe

I tried my best to help her forget the pain

I lost myself in her but all of it was in vain...

she had made promises that she would let it go

wouldn't ever let her self go through that sorrow...

but she went ahead and broke those promises

and all i was left to do was cry n miss...

As i go further n into this limbo

there is no way out, Oh I so know...

but i had made a promise, that i would never leave

n i would never break her belief....

#Poem Series - Parchaai

aaj do pal main baith kar

soch raha tha waqt shayad gaya hain thehar

saari yaadein aakar havao ke saath

rulati rahi mujhe saari raat

main kaun hoon main kya hoon

kya hain meri pehchaan

sab ke ghumo ko bhulane

sabko deta raha ek hissa apni jaan

dusro ki hasi se

jod li maine apni khushi

yeh na socha, na jaana

na samjha yeh, ki unhone mujhe na pehchaana

samajhe woh mujhe apni zindagi ka sahara

mujh sa koi unko mile kee yeh dua

par mera unke saath hona

na tha unko gavara

Ab aaine mein jab apni

parchaai dekhne jaata hoon

us insaan mein apne aap ko dhoond na paata hoon

meri zindagi ke lamhe ubhar ke saamne aate hai

Meri asliyat ek saraab hain, yeh mujh se kehlate hain

Main kaid ho kar reh gaya

auro ki umeedo mein,bhool gaya yeh,

mazza aata hain khud ke liye jeene mein

meri parchai mujhe dekh kar kehti rehti hain yeh

chodd de jeena dusro ke liye,

ab toh mere liye jee le....

#Poem Series - Love

Every one is living in such a mad rush

Madness is like gravity and it needs only a gentle push

To get you to fall to the depths of crazyness

To get you to rise to heights of awesomeness

We are all living Mundane lives

You hate a man and you call him a husband,

You don’t even trust that dame

But you still call her your wife

Why is there such abnormality,

Why is the world so far from reality

Relationships are floating on thin crusts

Because most of em are based purely on lust

The symbol of peace is the dove,

And all we need is a little love

I am glad you two found it,

Please cherish and savor it every bit

I can only pray for you two,

And Hope someday I shall find mine too,

I shall do my best to keep your bond intact

Because we all signed the friendship pact

I am proud to be known as your friend,

You proved it exists when my hope was coming to an end,

Spread the message and release the dove,

All the people need a little love.

#Poem Series - Let me Be

Come here my little friend, Nothing is come to an end

Life is still like that and I am still a brat

You thought I would change, But it is so strange

That I haven’t, so just let me be!

This world is truly a bitch, all my clothes need a stitch

I was happy and Single, don’t know why I decided to mingle

She said she liked me, but she wanted to see

If I could be what she wanted me to be

And I yelled…Just let me be!

Day dreaming was never my style

But I have been doing it for a while

Don’t know why though, it just hurts me so

And I need my friends, to share what I feel

Nights go restless and I have to have a meal

And everyone there, don’t just stand there and see

Move on in your life and just let me be!

#Poem Series - Pal

Tik tik karti ghadi ki sui

Bole hain tujhko chal

Waqt jaayega guzar

rukega nahi yeh pal

Suraj ki garmi hain

Aur lambi hain yeh raah

Paani ko taras jaayega

Badhta ja lekar apni chaah

raahon mein kaatein

Bichane waale bhi milenge

ek din karenge log teri hee baatein

dekhne waale sab tujhse jalenge

Aayega woh ek din phir

haasil karlega tu sapne

badhta chal pahadon sa sthir

Paraye bhi ban na chahenge apne

us mukaam par pohanch kar

jab dekhega tu piche mudhke

dikhegi tujhko woh mehnat

jo rang laayi hain iss pal

#Poem Series - Memories

My eyes meet the ray of light

coming through the window

The morning chill in the bright sunlight

makes me want to soak up more

The feeling not so new

I have been there before

leaves teased by the drops of dew

and I still want it all the more

each new morning the ray forces my mind to dive

in the oceans of time, oh I want to explore

the Memories pressed in the pages of mind

sweetened through the ages like wine

I sit there lookin the sun in the eye

thinking about what to do

the restless feeling wouldn't die

forcing me to think bout bygones

Where, what, why and who

Some good, some bad

they all gave me a gift

when I open the pandoras box

It makes my mind drift

Its the feeling within

that keeps this moment alive

makes me wanting for more

each new morning the ray forces my mind to dive

in the oceans of time, oh I want to explore

the Memories pressed in the pages of mind

sweetened through the ages like wine

#Poem Series - Mary Moshuana

Oh Mary Moshuanaa

Oh Oh Mary Moshuana

You and I are such good friends

i hope this fling never ends

I know you are a hungry feline

Oh you can't just be mine..

I met you the other day at the bus stand

Yeah, I loved the way you held my hand

And then you kissed me and it hit my brain

In the sunny afternoon it felt like rain

Oh Mary Moshuaana...

Oh oh Mary Moshuaana

The other night you went to crazyy

wish we could do it one more time babyY

You took me high and left me dry

Life seem like such a sweet lie

You came along and all the wrong...

Felt like it had all gone

you make it feel right, everytime

Like a crazy diamond you make me shine

Oh Mary Moshuaana...

Oh oh Mary Moshuaana

I'll meet you in the day

and I'll meet you in the night

from April to May, everyday

you just make it right....

#Poem Series - Ma

The first time I saw those pleasing eyes

They dropped a tear hearing my cries

She held me in her arms and hugged me tight

She had already plans to make me Smart and Bright

She fed me and taught me and put me to bed

Her lap was the pillow on which I rested my head

She sang me a lullaby if I didn't get sleep

Her love for me was passionate and deep

As I grew up, I yelled at Her

It hurt her but her hopes on me didn't deter

She always thought her son would turn up right

I still regret the days I used my might to keep her quiet

Then one day, she lost her man

She drank her tears and did everything one can

to see her kids happy and satisfied

Her aura and beauty left me mystified

The more I thought, the Less I understood

I realized Gods way of being every where was motherhood

All these years I didn't bother

to tell you "I love you Mother!"

#Poem Series - Keep the Faith

He walks down the empty roads

trying not to hate

"praise the lord" read the church board

he said "I'll keep the faith"

He was so bound and tied

thought someday he would be great

off every chance he was deprived

but he said "I'll keep the faith"

He was restless and in pain

waiting for D date

every tear shed went down the drain

still he said "I'll keep the faith"

He knew bad times won't stay always

For good times it won't be too late

he patiently counted days

and always keep the faith

In his eyes there was belief

as he walked through the gates

in his smiles there was relief

coz he had kept the faith

#Poem Series - I miss you

As I lay down on my bed,

there is just one thing on my mind

I try to get it out of my head

and put all of it behind

Each new day, I look forward to,

There is a sudden rush

there is atleast one moment I think of you,

and I smile as I blush

You are the shining light

of my work filled and tiresome days

your smile is what makes it bright

I swear,only the truth my heart says

You don't know how it feels

to not see you or hear your voice

Different priorties keep you on your heels

I am left with no choice

Our lives haven't intersected yet

I would be a fool, if on the future I bet

Of today I can tell you something true,

Everymoment your out of my sight,

I miss you, I really do.

#Poem Series - Hey Little Johnny

Hey Little Johnny come and talk to me

Oh there you have a bruised knee..

Bandage it son and go back to the field

Its just a flesh wound, it will heal

When I was your age, I was stupid and Naive

I smoked my weed and felt alive

It got my heart racing and pumped my blood

The fluid in my brain started to flood

Oh and I felt awesome and So fucked up

Umm I don't remember " did I barf up!?"

She was a charming little angel as she came along,

And now I think "Oh I was so wrong"

ANd then I found some hash from Shillong..

Hey can someone please "Pass me a bong"

Oh and I felt awesome and So fucked up

I picked up the pieces and mopped up

I reached home late from the party one night

Mom started an angry fight

she yelled and screamed n then she cried

I asked "oh mom, why the hell are you fried"

Oh and I felt awesome and So fucked up

I have my head really all mixed up

I fell on my bed & looked up straight

My head could feel all the weight

And I saw the moon and Shooting stars

Like tail lamps of Fast cars

Oh and I felt awesome and So fucked up

My head was spinning when someone said "Whats UP!"

#Poem Series - Friends

You and I together in the rain

Sharing all our joys and the pain

We both laugh and cry together

An unsaid promise to be one forever

We joke, we fight and we yell

Our secrets to each other we tell

Time flies when its me and you

as they say to tango it takes two

we watch our backs in troubled times

always in sync like wind chimes

you hear my silence and i hear yours

we walk in and out of our thoughts like open doors

we are like two bodies and one soul

without you life is a black hole

we make mistakes and we make amends

I guess thats why we are best friends

#Poem Series - Fall Apart

Its dark outside as I write

Its was not so long ago the days were bright

and then suddenly a needle pierced the heart

as I saw it all fall apart...

She stood there watching me walk away

not realizing the reason for this day

she gave me a cold stare

the one I could never bear

Its all went a bit pale n numb

I decided to this pain I won't succumb

I made myself oblivious to the sounds

down the memory lane my mind took rounds

Its difficult to think it happened so fast

I think of the times together we had a blast

and then suddenly a needle pierces the heart

and makes me wonder why it all fell apart..

#Poem Series - Faceless

Walking on the moonlit sands

along the crashing waves

A whisper in my ear,draws me close

tells me of those wonderful days

The voice so serene,The feeling to dear

makes me feel so near

to someone unseen, someone unheard

still leaves me with a feeling so weird

An enigma that leaves me clueless

Oh, its the faceless!

As I see her hold the hands

that would take her to unknown lands

In her eyes there is trust ,his name in her every breath

they vow to stay together,till they are seperated by death

her heart so composed, soul in peace

to her heart only he had keys

I see this and get drawn towards the memories

of someone unseen, someone unheard

that leaves me with a feeling so weird

An Enigma that leaves me clueless

Oh, its the faceless

He cries in pain as he watches her go

tried all he could but couldn't save her though

A void in his heart, an empty space to fill

every second, himself he wants to kill

They were in love, had passion so divine

like the stars their eyes would shine

I felt the gentle touch, one more time

of someone unseen, someone unheard

that leaves me with a feeling so weird

An Enigma that leaves me clueless

Oh, its the faceless

#Poem Series - Eyes

I sat in the crowd

looking for a familiar face

I saw you and those eyes

Why i felt so at peace, I don't realize

You just sat there

talking to a friend

I wish a few moments

with you I could spend

when am in the crowd

I am nervous and worried

in my stomach there r butterflies

that ease up lookin at your eyes

oh how lucky the man

that has your heart

that innonce in your eyes

makes u the doe, me the hart

in this crowd full of

hatred jealousy and lies

I found a reason to smile

your beautiful eyes :)

Poem Series - Dad

I held his hand and walked along

No fear whatsoever

In him I always bestowed upon

My trust which was blind

He took me places and taught me things

Showed me the meaning of emotions within

He taught me to love and live in peace

He cried and worried even if I would sneeze

I didn’t know who he was and why he cared

They told me he was my dad.

I never understood what that meant

And found his love too cagey

I fought with him as I grew

Hurting his heart and shredding it through

He never complained and kept his faith

He believed his son could never go bad

His trust in me was never ending

And with him I kept fighting

Over the years, I realized how much I loved him

But it was not until I had lost him

I didn’t realize what I had lost

He took with him a friend, philosopher and guide

Now I wish he would come back to me

I would love him and express it free

One thing in his lifetime I could never do

To tell him how much I loved him true

I wish I had said it before

Dad I love you and now I wish you were here

#Poem Series - Black Night

The evening was calm and composed

Showing no signs of being worried

And then suddenly came the dark lords

To leave her sanctity and peace buried!

They came from a land not unknown

There stay friends of ours known

I wonder how some few love seeing the casket

I guess that’s why they say one rotten apple spoils the basket

They had the redness in the eyes

Anger in the heart that was unjust and unfair

They ripped apart the beautiful evening

And left the city with no meaning,

To live now feels senseless

My brothers and sisters killed

And those alive left hopeless.

I sometimes feel anger and disdain

But this can do nothing to undo the pain

Leaders we chose betrayed us

And now we don’t know who to trust!

All that’s happened is not right

I hope I am never reminded of that Black night.

#Poem Series - Angel

Under the moon lit sky, the stars were sparkling

I looked at them trying to decode their magical language

They kept smiling at me trying to tease me and I kept looking in vain

This happened every night and soon it became a pain,

A pain I didn’t feel, a pain I didn’t understand

I wish someone would explain to me what they said

Holding my hands

I kept looking for those hands now that would take me along

To the magical world of stars and the moon

The voice that would tell me about the different reasons

As to why each star shone differently and sparkled like they did

The story about why the moon would wax and wane,

I kept looking for the one who would alleviate my pain

Then down the aisles of the rainbow, she came walking

Her eyes putting the sparkles of the stars to shame,

Her smile illuminating a million moons

Her voice my guiding light, I had never seen a soul shine so bright

She was like an angel sent from above

An angel I prayed for, who would give me peace

A sense of purity and divinity in my heart,

I kept looking at her, thinking if I was indeed alive

I wished she would be mine, I prayed to god

And promised I would never let the sparkle of her eyes fade,

Never let her smile go, that I would cherish her in my mortal eyes

And treasure her in this heart

With the sound of thunder my dream fell apart,

But I still think about the angel

Every moment I breathe, every second my heart beats

I know she is somewhere around

Looking at me and waiting for the day

She would walk into my life

And transform it to the magical world I dreamt of.

#Poem Series - Above it All

you stand there watching everybody

that goes by you

watchin each move they make

They're in such a hurry, and so fake

Ain't you glad your above it all...

you enjoy that drop of rain

love going through the pain

you've burnt your hands a lot of time

your young and still like aged wine

Loving each moment be it rise or fall

Ain't you glad your above it all

And that soul of yours is so pure

like your smile , there is no cure

in your mind you are so clear

and you know what is your call...

Ain't you glad your above it all..

#Poem Series - A Friend Forever

It seems like yesterday that we met,

to never give in I had said,

I thought about the past

it had left me in pain,

but everyting happened so fast,

I soon realized my resistance was in Vain.

You came like the bright sunshine

and I said "Oh! could she ever be mine!"

I was worried and nervous,thinking I gave in too soon...

I couldn't care less about the outcome

I was already on the moon and the damage had been done

We are Seven Seas apart

yet so easily you walked into my heart

I was enchanted by Your simplicity and liveliness

May it be with you always, God bless

Your smile means a thousand suns to me

I wish you could someday see

everytime I think of you,there's happyness in my eyes

They blink and shine like 10 million Fireflies

I know you have been through a lot

you've given it all and ended up sad

I made a promise to give it all I've got

and that I'll never make you mad.

Everyday I spend without talkin to you

seems like a million years,

But I've never felt so secure before

alleiviated of all my fears

Of losing you, I don't care

the feelings you invoke in me are like the air

I feel it gently taking me away

in a world where your with me night and day

Even if we never meet and be together,

your memories with me will live forever,

At worst, my heart will need a mend,

But I will still have you with me as a Friend....

Since you've been Gone... RIP Dad

An empty house sits waiting

for its master hasn't been home in a while

its been long, but the moment you left

it all felt wrong and its not felt the same

since you've been gone

The wife cooks a meal,

the one you love most

she looks out for you,

wish you would atleast come as a ghost

Her eyes have been longing for you

her soul love lorn

since you've been gone

The little boy and the young girl

have grown up now

oh they miss you,and HOW

they look for you and feel hard done

since you've been gone

The lonely eyes standing by the door

the ears can't hear you no more

the most crowded place feels like an empty shore

they sit by the wave and think about you

from dusk to dawn

oh its been so long!

Since you've been gone ...

Yeh saali Zindagi

Akela baitha hua mein,Jaagta hoon raato ko

parchaiyon se poochta, do pal to mera saath do

Neend hain na aankho mein,mann mein na chain

Ab toh bas lage hain, jaldi beet jaaye yeh rain

din guzar jaate hain ,Sui ki chalte chalte

Ghante kahaan beet gaye,Suraj dhalte dhalte

naa aankho mein aansu na dard ka ehsaas ho

yeh din dikh jaane ke pehle, zindagi ki raat ho

garmiyon mein suraj ki narm kirno mein ghoomna

sardiyon mein kambal ke resham ko choomna

baarishon ki boondon ka maathe par jhoomna

in lamho ko kaid kar fir usmein doobna

aye pagal insaan tu har pal ko jee

usmein chippey amrit ko dil khol ke pee

jee ley kuch is tarah, jaise is raat ki subah nahi

aaj tere saath hain, kal ho na ho yeh saali zindagi

whizzing....

lifes weird...i don't have the faintest memory of what the first touch of air felt like when I was born or did it hurt me when they cut off the umbilical cord...or did it feel icky to be soaked in blood and plasma...I wonder..how can something that started off so abrupt turn out to be so interestingly annoying and annoyingly interesting...

I fail to understand how ones mind can play such funny games with you and surface your insecurities, worries, tensions unknowingly to you! you get caught in trying to bite the bullet and making sure nobody else takes the blow...

u take blows over blows and then u realize its a choice you made...a road u chose to ride...nobody told u nothing....nobody did no nothing...u did it!

This worlds a mean and nasty place....there are all sorts of animals in this jungle and life is the one common thread...u need to know though which animals to avoid..which to hunt down, which to hang around with....

U think ur nice, ur fun and u please everyone....u hope they know u just love them... or they might mistake u for a clown....party is over then...

The minds a devil...it makes u do things u normally wouldn't and then ur hearts even worse...it get ur mind to do things IT normally wouldn't ...

u got one heart...some will kick it, some bruise, some even stab it...but that one person which will come to the mend....make sure she is worth it ... make it count!

Dreams..

You know friends...one of the things i learnt today was dreams are like pieces of glass...when they shatter, they fucking hurt. you might end up concealing everything at that moment saying it was necessary to let go, oh it was just wishful thinking, oh that was just a joke or that you are cool with it but the fact is you don't!

Another thing I learnt today was that irrespective of whatever you say, whatever you do, pressure will get to you and you need someone to share your emotions with!! sometimes all you need is someone to hear you out and not give you any feedback/suggestion or solution but just give you sometime to vent it out. Worse, if they start thinking you need help!

It kinda sucks to be writing this post at this time sitting in office as i look out of the window (yes i can type without looking at the monitor)... however i had to pencil (or rather keyboard) this down so I could have something to hear me out!

Sometimes you feel your life is such a disappointment, you can't do what you like, your stuck with a job you like but is not the one you dreamt of, you have to curb your every little instinct or atleast think it over atleast twice before you decide to pursue it, all because you have to live a life that keeps others happy and put your own self on the back burner! and worst of all it hits you more when you kinda get that dirty realization that there is no one to think for you and care for your happyness!

not that Ma does not, but that her priority is the FAMILY and not just me! secondly it is always the case when you are the older of two siblings, you tend to get a raw deal more often than not...may be its the frustrated me speaking but well there is got to be some amount of truth here!

and well when your career is not "taking off" as such, when you are laden in EMI repayments, when your friends start to have different priorities, the one thing that you could really benefit from is having a steady relationship and guess what, tht seems to be pissing on me too...so in essence, as it stands right now, it kinda sucks...coz all the hope and optimism i had has kind of dried up and its sort of face the reality time for me...all the truth is beginning to come to the face and the mirage that i had built up for myself seems to be breaking away...

however, having said that, everybody has good and bad times and although i am tempted to say its my worst phase, i think NOT. I am sure this shall pass too...I have always enjoyed being a peoples person and have revelled in their sucess, in their happyness but sometimes it gets to you and may be its time i bite the bullet tell myself that its ok and get on with it and continue to try and spread happyness around me...I mean if I can help others to be happy, there would be lesser me's in the world and those people can atleast then live for themselves...

Last but not the least:

I think the biggest reason why a person tends to freak out is when he sees the mirror and gets to see his imperfections, his mistakes, his life in general..and thats whats been happening to me off late. It might sound funnily stupid but I could have never imagined that i could see a character from a tele series and relate to it the way I have...

it has reminded me of how i have not achieved anything I had wanted to , about how girls have been really mean to me, about how I feel like a napkin to everybody else ... but one thing it also reminds me of is that amidst all this chaos and shit, there is a person who has lived his life honestly, who has strived to make a difference who has pulled along that xtra effort to tell someone he loves them and still got his heart broken...all this makes me realize I am human and a good one at it...and I am proud of it....

The Proudest day of my life!!

2.30 PM i wake up on a saturday afternoon and park myself infront of the TV like millions of other Indians (not sure if that number is now Billions). I sit right there watching Srilanka go into bat. The match had two sides showing too much respect to each other and it showed in the way Lanka eased to a score of 275 and more so by the way India crusied to that score without being largely troubled. MSD for all his poor moments this world cup had a flawless game! right from bowling changes to the batting order (and yes I predicted DHoni would come in before Yuvi!). The only one being getting MOWGLI (Sreecan't) in for Nehra when he had the option of Ashwin.

However, the one thing that stood over it all was seein the cup come home. Its been 28 years. A long wait! and the wait was sweet as hell considering the end result! As they say in India, everything has a happy ending. Now our Generation has a World cup story to tell the next, much like our parents who had their own. Kapil Dev has company at the ultimate epitome of success where it had started to get lonely and India have ethched their name in Golden words in the history books of the sport.

However, this win meant the most to me because of one man! A man who has carried India and the Indian expectations tamasha on his shoulders for 21 years. A man who has gone about his business quietly and surpassed all expectations, broken all records and earned his place as the best player in the world, but for a missing trophy in his cabinet. That man is Sachin Tendulkar! A man no indian is stranger to. In India kids know about Sachin well before they know how to read and write...An Indian who is more Indian than anybody else, an Indian that deserves to be given a special mention in any record books, history books that the country ever has.

I never thought being born a human being, God gave me emotions for others too but for the first time I felt emotions boil over, I cried with Yuvi, with Dhoni, and I cried most for Sachin. Seeing that Man touch that elusive cup, which eluded him for the previous 5 editions of this Tourney was finally in his hands! He hugged it, kissed it n lifted it in Air and each time they showed his face on TV tears rolled down!

A man that all of India has loved with all their heart, An Indian who has not a single smudge on his character on his track record, a Man who has loved the country irrespective of the country not believing in him at times...A man that defies everything another man could feel and changes the way a Man can feel about another man!

Sachin this world cup truly is for you! This world cup has truly united the entire nation and given everybody a reason to feel alive again!

P.s: The one thing that I hated was people celebrating Pakistan and Srilanka's defeat over our Victory! Ridiculous! Absolute Ridiculous!

Staying DIS-connected.....

Weird things going on in my head as i write this. Its ironical that the very technology that I am using today to write this blog is the very focal point of this topic...

I entered the house with bruised knees and a sun tan...I was tired..my glass of rasna lemon was ready...my mom was cooking lunch and watching for me when i have my rasna and run away...its time for the second match and my team is waiting for me...my friends have come over to play cricket and I am completely over the moon!

The scene that i talked about earlier was years ago! This was when technology was not something that ruled our lives and made us tech monkeys or Robos! we had a life, we had blood n sweat (and it showed) we had energy, stamina, passion and we were a lot more than just couch potatoes!

Then came the technology advancement! people could get information at the tips of their fingers, you could see whats happening in japan sitting here in mumbai India! However, there is a bigger danger to this for all the good that it brings along!

People are now forgetting that technology is a mere resource at our disposal than a way of life! it is a mere helping hand and not really the life line!

I look at everybody and i think, wow! whats happening...BBM, Android phones with all types of messengers, Laptops, Tablets...and people are sooo connected...but do we realize..within all this staying connected hoodoo...we are actually way too disconnected...

when was the last time we saw our child hood best friend? When was the last time you went out to play a game of football rather than play Fifa...when was the last time you actually caught up with friends and talked about good ol days or took a dig at each other! luckily for me, I do it often! However, as I look at the generations to come (I feel fucking old when i say this) and the next crop of youngsters...I only see tech junkies in them...where are the real human beings..

why do kids not go out n play? why do they not meet friends? why do they not invite their mates over for a fuckin lunch party...instead evening meeting sessions are replaced by FB chats, twitter tweets BBM's etc...lunch parties by video gaming sessions, ps3, xbox sessions etc...

with all the technology, we seem to be losing more and more of US...what started of as a means to give us the convenience to communicate is gradually becoming the only means of communication! i know its weird and probably most of you might dispute this...but thats whats happening to the kids today and its such a shame! coz they will never know what it means to have a bruised knee, a fractured arm, a sweaty shirt, a smelly sock!

I'll take the copy, the original is too much ;)

So its been brought to my notice that i haven't written a blog for ages now...yes that does make me feel priveleged...coz atleast there is someone that wants to read this inconsequential mindless rant about my mundane life!

there is something which i want to really talk about today...and I am going to take no prisoners when i say this..I don't think this shud bother me but somewhere I do wonder why I am still single...

I have met girls over the years, girls that are wonderful people, beautiful, sweet, some sensible, some not, some cool some not...but then there is one thing which has been sort of a common theme... that I've always been victim of their past...or their personal lives...I don't wish to touch a nerve here for I understand how a person can become very sensitive after some bad experiences...however, you don't stop eating because you didn't like the last meal you ate!

Trust is something which has to be bestowed on a 1 to 1 basis...and of all the girls I have met, I have barely seen any that understands that. One thing that all girls are culprit to is not trusting enough...maybe I am generalizing this but then this has been MY experience....

I've never really understood.. when someone says "Oh I wish I had a boyfriend like you" My question is "Why do you want a cheap clone of copy of me when you can have me?" .. i think its something to do with the phrase "too good to be true" I choose to believe that coz most girls can't believe the fact that probably they are getting that very guy in their lives..and this is not just true for me but for every other guy who has been "THE BEST FRIEND" , "THE ONE WE CAN COUNT ON" for a girl...the girls just tend to take them for granted.... anyways... I think its something that probably won't change.....

anyways here's something i found on the internet...an interesting article..one that i can really relate to most importantly

Ode to the Nice Guys

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.