As the rain fizzles down

on this beautiful earth

I sit down watchin the muddy brown

and the kids full of dirt

I sit there watchin the kids at play

and think of the good old day

when I used to be a little boy

and jumping in the puddles was my biggest joy

I then walked down the memory lane

taking a step forward towards the present

how i would think being a kid was a bane

and on growing up I was hell bent

As my memory travelled in time

It passed by some corners of my heart

In the pockets there wasn't a single dime

For her I would try to stand apart

The calendar changed many seasons

For each one I met I tried a lot more

Each of them with their reasons

Plainly walked out of the door

Now I ask why I wanted this life?

My mind failing to think clear

I am a changed man now, it cuts me like a knife

still there is nobody that cares, When I shed a tear.

honest words from the heart

As I lay down on my bed,

there is just one thing on my mind

I try to get it out of my head

and put all of it behind

Each new day, I look forward to,

There is a sudden rush

there is atleast one moment I think of you,

and I smile as I blush

You are the shining light

of my work filled and tiresome days

your smile is what makes it bright

I swear,only the truth my heart says

You don't know how it feels

to not see you or hear your voice

Different priorties keep you on your heels

I am left with no choice

Our lives haven't intersected yet

I would be a fool, if on the future I bet

Of today I can tell you something true,

Everymoment your out of my sight,

I miss you, I really do.

I Love you MA!

The first time I saw those pleasing eyes

They dropped a tear hearing my cries

She held me in her arms and hugged me tight

She had already plans to make me Smart and Bright

She fed me and taught me and put me to bed

Her lap was the pillow on which I rested my head

She sang me a lullaby if I didn't get sleep

Her love for me was passionate and deep

As I grew up, I yelled at Her

It hurt her but her hopes on me didn't deter

She always thought her son would turn up right

I still regret the days I used my might to keep her quiet

Then one day, she lost her man

She drank her tears and did everything one can

to see her kids happy and satisfied

Her aura and beauty left me mystified

The more I thought, the Less I understood

I realized Gods way of being every where was motherhood

All these years I didn't bother

to tell you "I love you Mother!"

Memoirs of a Brahmin boy

well I just had a small little argument with my little one (my sister) and we just patched up...i guess its the culmination of a long 5 day ordeal that we have been going through. Right from preparing for the Poonal to getting the guests out of the way its been one long and tiring weekend/vacation.

Ok! so the Srinivasan family had gathered over the past 5 days for the poonal of Chi Neeraj Ravi. As in for the threading ceremony of my cousin. The holy thread called the poonal is like an ID proof of your brahmin/Iyer boy status. It also is a abstinence belt in the sense that you have to abstain from alcohol, Non vegetarian food, and in general normal human behavior once you take this up....its like a cage which you are put in, BUT I have always been a rebel and see this thread as not more than a easy way to scratch your back lol. The core importance of the thread is that as per hindu shastras (or atleast TamBram Shastras) you are not allowed to light the pyre of your parents if you are not threaded...thats one crazy thing...

coming back to the three days of madness and mayhem, I met all my extended family after a really long time. By Extended I really mean Extended...All my relatives that I haven't seen in the past 10 years came around for this and it was one great ocassion. I admit, I was sceptical about wanting to see all of them but then the scepticism lasted only as long as I saw the faces of the first set of relatives to arrive... Thats the first lesson I learnt!

Lesson#1 : You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape their love!

I realized how happy i was to see them, How much I had missed talking to them and how engrossed we all had become in our mundane lives! The first person that came to my mind when i met my relatives was a dear friend of mine who has sooo many relatives she always tells me that it is so much fun chilling with the folks but i realized it when I met my own after a while......too much fun....thanks to that friend for leading me to trust my folks... :).....

Amongst one of my relatives was my Grand dad's younger brother...my grand pa is 87 and his brother is 86.... WOW! now...why am i saying this??? its becoz when I saw them meet each other..i realized how important or beautiful sibling bonding can be...

lesson #2: Enjoy every minute with your siblings...you might not live upto 87 to continue this phase ;)

I could see how happy my grand pa was to see his brother and i realized how wonderful their bond was...they are 80 something and barely meet now due to his brother staying in jabalpur but then they still care! I was just savoring that moment when a little boy came in and intruded my thoughts...this bugger was the son of my cousin/uncle Shankar...his name Vignesh....

I started talking to him and chilling with him and I realized that I love this guy...ok now stop racing your horses...this young guy is all of 3 years in age and is a darling....It was love at first sight with this kid and we hit it off like a house on fire...I pampered my nephew/brother as much as I could and he enjoyed it too...i felt like a proud parent and I thought he was my son...atleast I loved him like my own :D... everytime he would call my bro "appa" i would feel happy! thats when it dawned...

Lesson #3: Every human being has a parent hidden somewhere inside...you just need some1 to get it out ;)

..however our meeting lasted only for 3 days...i dropped him off at the station and thats when I realized..I missed him already while I was just outside the station....it hurt...it pained..his smiile and his laugh would trouble me for a while..it still is as I write this blog but I love him and I am already hoping I can see him again! I neve rthought I would be attached to a kid so much!!!! this is the most important leasson

Lesson #4: Seperation in any form is painful!!

I never realized it till this boy! I lost my dad it hurt and I learned to live with it. Sooner than I had expected...I didn't think this boy would get me addicted....but I know that I will eventually move on....I have to so that I can lead a normal life...eventually he will become just another boy! but a special one!

Lesson #5: Life is all about moving on....cherish old memories nad create newer ones every second for you to cherish in the future....

I am sure that this realization will dawn upon each one of us sooner or later and we will all learn to live in peace with ourselves without trying to contest stark realities of life for no use!

Love

Every one is living in such a mad rush

Madness is like gravity and it needs only a gentle push

To get you to fall to the depths of crazyness

To get you to rise to heights of awesomeness

We are all living Mundane lives

You hate a man and you call him a husband,

You don’t even trust that dame

But you still call her your wife

Why is there such abnormality,

Why is the world so far from reality

Relationships are floating on thin crusts

Because most of em are based purely on lust

The symbol of peace is the dove,

And all we need is a little love

I am glad you two found it,

Please cherish and savor it every bit

I can only pray for you two,

And Hope someday I shall find mine too,

I shall do my best to keep your bond intact

Because we all signed the friendship pact

I am proud to be known as your friend,

You proved it exists when my hope was coming to an end,

Spread the message and release the dove,

All the people need a little love.

Men are from Mars and I am on Earth..

This is one of those things that I have been trying to conjure up but as usual I fail to think of some concrete matter before hand to make this a good read. So this blog will yet again be a brew of mixed thoughts and emotions and some random talks and hap hazard writing.

Let me proclaim first up that I am a MAN! I have all that a MAN needs to have and I show all MAN qualities and Habits. I drink, I chill with friends, I love sports and I also love to gossip like most guys do! YES! it is a proven fact and I can testify that MEN LOVE TO GOSSIP! it is something no man will admit...but I have the balls to admit it too lol...hence proved I am out and out MAN! plus I ride the HERO HONDA HUNK which only a real MAN can handle....lol

yaar but then there are things which I don't agree on with 90% men! lol... now I have been called a traitor for that by my fellow men but then this is how I am and this is what I believe in...

A lot of my friends ( I don't wanna name them since they are my closest friends)*Taarak mehta ka ooltah chasma is soooo funny man lol* have been trying to teach me on how to woo women and keep them in check! trust me these are the exact things I was told...that you need to keep women in check! God damn it! Some told me that you should know how to play mind games with them and keep them guessing, some told me you shoudl define your boundaries even if you are committed with her for life....

Now I wanan question this...I do not like to preach to the choir or rather what they say "playing the been in front of the buffalo" and so I am writing this blog...

I am not as experienced with women aas some of my other friends...especially those who have told me these things...and so they tend to disregard my opinion but its fine by me coz I am what I am and I will never do anything against my train of thoughts or ideologies...how do you really manipulate a woman to like you!? how can you ever ever be in love and want to Set boundaries for that person!? Isn't it such an oxymoron!? isn't there no value to being honest and true and self assured? i somewhere think that men who want to manipulate women are really not secured about themselves...NO I don't mean to demean them but i feel that is the reason....

Only a man who is not assured and secured about himself will want to manipulate a woman or try to play mind games...yes there is that small little moments where you play pranks or do some mischief with that ONE WOMAN but the intention matters...if you do it to try and affect an end result then its manipulation but if you do it just to enjoy the moment then you will not miss out on those small moments...the glint in her eyes when she is laughing, the blush on her face but men these days are too busy...trying to think how to effect the outcome!

Wooing a woman or even being with a woman is become very very much like a game of chess...coz every man is thinking about the check mate! no body wants to enjoy that phase...and I guess thats why they say men are from Mars...I believe the exact reverse applies to women too...most women are too busy playin the game and miss out on enjoyign the moments and thats why women are from venus!

there are very few men and women left on earth and I am one of them...I have been through the process of wooing a woman before and being their best friend even more than that but never really have I bothered to worry about how I will end up in that process or how can I effect the outcome...Maybe thats why I am different and I get along well with most girls I know...and the funniest thing being..I am called a flirt by most men I know lol and none of the women ever see any malice in my intent or my friendship....

I am just wondering this blog is becoming so ME vs the OTHER MEN but the fact remains that I am upset with how people have been talking to me about women almost treating them like commodities or vegetative items and even worse Pets!

Trust me guys...the day you realize a woman is not your pet but the most precious thing in your life, you will never see any boundaries and never think about any games! The moment you respect and trust your instinct you will be happier irrespective of what the outcome is!anyways I almost sound like a feminist leader now but then izz cool...

gotta run now..have work in a while...cheers...

Chokers Galore.....

Ok...I wanna start this blog with the mention of Aditi. Aditi Naik, who I know through my friend, Shashank Shetty. Aditi and I share one thing common...the love for Mammy Poco Pants! lol it the cutest thing! And I was just telling Adi that I was planning on another blog.

I have been trying to write for a while now but haven't found enough time...Saala time is so short now that I haven't spoken to a lot of my friends in quite sometime...friends I normally spoke to regularly.....lol woh choddo yaar...its now about Chokers...

South Africa are stuck with this Tag and they just proved it right against England...when they failed to win 2 test matches which they should have! Ditto with Pakistan who lost to Australia in a rather distasteful manner and I almost thought the match was rigged....and poor ol west indies have their own issues which transcended on to the field....

there's something about CHOKERS that no one likes...Chokers are people,teams, Individuals, Organizations who fail to rise to the occassion! who fail to up the ante and deliver...it's not a crime but it just goes to show the character of a side! South Africa are not deserving holders of that crown...damn it! but I was not writing this blog to talk bout Cricket...this was a more important issue.

Off Late, I have been seeing and reading a lot of Suicide stories, In the news, in the papers, In the magazines, by word of mouth. Its almost like suicide is the new IN thing and u will be called COOL posthumously if u suicide! people have been taking the jump, tying the knot rather regularly in that hope.... as if they will be conferred upon a honorary title or will be addressed a Late "COOL" XYZ! lol...

Even more surprising, is the number of kids doing it...owing to pressure! I don't blame the kids as much as the parents but both of them have to take blame for it. Kids get way too easily influenced these days becoz parents don't tell them whats right and whats wrong! Even funnier is that parents begin to burden the kids with the pressure of being first in class, first in sports, first to the loo, first to poop their pants, first in the line... they want their kids to be first everywhere and the only thing kids are succeeding in is "being first to suicide" !

its a grave situation! I don't understand why the government, instead of tackling this is making things easier for kids and making it look like a fault of the educatioon system!? The education system has been around for a long time and I have been through it. its rigorous, its tough, it is stupid but it is the education system which makes u strong enough for life....the solution to all these suicides is definitely not dropping papers and letting the school students keep terms or choose subjects and so on....instead the government should publish guidelines for kids and parents alike on how to deal with stress and on how to cope up with pressure and on how to treat KIDS AS KIDS and not WORK HORSES!

only if all parents were like mine or any of my friends' and treated kids like human beings...there will be lesser suicide cases and lesser kids will begin to choke.... choke under this pressure...but yes now everybody must be thinking everything is parent's fault...it actually is not! Cmon kids...even I was a kid one time....and my parents also gave me the same pressure...but I never got carried away! you should neither! the kids need to be more grounded...bloody hell kids are so fast maturing these days that they are threatening their parents with suicide attempts and what not! ...

DAMN IT CHOKER KIDS!.... I am not being judgemental but just being angry! Kids are loveable and beautiful! don't kill them with such pressures of education, of cutting their teeth into this dirty bread earning mill. pressures of excelling all the time! it's not the wya to treat a kid! Discipline and decorum is important...but not at the cost of their lives!

Anyways this is getting to my head....and so I am leaving!

happy birthday 2010...RIP 2009

well its 3.00 AM in the morning and its January 2, 2010. I have been champing a bit today...thanks to the kick ass new years pardy (look Party has a D in it to portray the cool accent lol) anu had organized....Anu and her friends cooked up the most awesome new years I have had in a few years now....well the booze was the icing on the cake....

The palty (tryin to show the ghaati side of it now lol) started with Beer and culminated on Whisky...and after having had 3 bottles of KF Mild, 8-10 pegs of Whisky and then 1 shot of Scotch (Vat 69).... I was kinda on cloud 9 lol.... I mean come on...whoever said Binge drinking was not fun...had to come see me drinking .... It was so much fun to drink and make drinks for others and alos see people get knocked out 1 by 1 :P .... i was so happy to see anu and prawn bond and the good part was Prawn and I bonded well too and we are truly family! the party also saw BP chasing a dog..... well he took the terms "DOG SHOT" and "Doggie Style" too literally and harassed this one chess board dog (because it was black and white) all night lol....

As I write this up....I am just thinking...why do we drink on new years?? I mean its no protocol nor is it a law or any sort of promise you make so why exactly do people drink??? I think most would say they drink to celebrate the new year coming....but I say NO!!! NO NO NO NO NO (in typical Russel Ishtyle) most peopl drink on New years for two reasons...both of which are very well bonded together...

1. To celebrate all the good things that happened to u till December 31

2. To forget all the bad things that happened to you till December 31....

Its not exactly rocket science but come on! New year is just another YEAR! You don't celebrate birthdays for new years unless you know that your gonna get a windfall or a big promotion or a new car in the new year! You celebrate whatever you have achieved in the past year ;) its much like how we had the Annual Day in school lol...I was part of 2 annual day programmes too! Yay!!

yeah so what I was emphasizing on is that people normally celebrate the passed by year on the pretext of the year thats coming on ;) and little do people realize they are doing that....

well can't blame the people too....its a psychological barrier that we human beings have....we don't celebrate BY Gones....thats the notion...we only celebrate arrivals...and thats why we try to call it the celebration of the Upcoming year.....

well but thats not the only reason...heres a more logical reason, one that holds some water to it and one that I am willing to buy myself lol...it is to do with the fact that we humans are closely bonded to the word HOPE! Hope is a very funny aspect of the human nature...it is what keeps u alive to see the new day...the hope that u will make it big someday, the hope that u will live with the girl of ur dreams one day, the hope that u will own the house u saw on VH1 cribs....the hope that u will have white kids (especially when ur brown or black :P ) ....so it is this HOPE....The HOPE that the new year will be much better than the already good Year Gone by is what we exactly celebrate...

so now that I have justified the celebration lol let me take the liberty to also say that I am as mortal as everybody else and as human as everybody else too .... so I celebrated new years with the same purpose.... HOPE....The Hope that things will kick on from here and move forward....I am not a resolutions person...so haven't made any....... I am a DAWG that bites and not one that Barks.. so I will rather do it than talk about it.... and the power to achieve what I want will be sourced by the very hope I welcomed the new year with!

Year 2009 has gone by and it has seen 1 full year of a life time ;) lol .... its not been exactly the same old years....till 2009 I had been a Student for some part of the year atleast....this is the first time the whole year I have been working....but to be honest...I have learnt way more than I ever learned in college or school.... just an indication how life has changed gears and has automatically graduated me to the next level both personally and professionaly. I am not gonna talk about all the crap about whats ahppening around the world and not a lot bout what happened to Me in 2009 but lets just say it wasa great year on a personal front :) I made new friends, I renewed some old friends, I recycled some very good friends and helped them change for good...so its been all bout friends for me :) .... Friends are afterall 1 of the 3 pillars of my trinity!... and to be honest its always great to make friends...a new addition to your friends list never hurts :) so heres me signing off with the hope and prayer that the friendships I made through 2009 will last forever and that I will make more new friends and 2010......

cheers